Best Quotes from Netflix’s Russian Doll

Netflix’s Russian Doll is a comedy-drama about a woman who dies over and over and keeps returning to the night of her 36th birthday party. But it’s way more clever, dark, and edgy than its Groundhog Day-like premise would suggest. This show, in its eight 25-minute episodes, delivers plot twists and gut-punches as it explores mortality, grief, redemption, and forgiveness.

And did we mention it’s pretty damn funny? We’ve pulled together some of our favorite quotes from Russian Doll. (Warning: profanity ahead.)

Best Nadia Quotes from Russian Doll

“It’s my bad attitude that keeps me young.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing. I was gonna go home and fuck this guy, but now I just feel so profoundly empty.”

“Fun is for suckers. Staring down the barrel of my own mortality always beats fun.”

“The universe is trying to fuck with me. And I refuse to engage.”

“What is this ‘bad person?’ I mean, there’s Hitler and then there’s everybody else.”

“Humanity… a little bit overrated, no?”

“Life is like a box of timelines. Ya feel me?”

“Sexualizing self-hatred is the hallmark of any relationship that begins with extramarital infidelity.”

“Hey, bartendress! Hello. Uh, more drunk please.”

“I did not kill somebody. If I killed somebody, I do something cool, like move to Mexico and start a band.”

“Now, do guys like blow jobs, or is that just a rumor?”

“Looks like someone just threw a gauntlet right into my puss-puss.”

Best Alan Quotes from Russian Doll

“Doesn’t matter. I die all the time.”

“You are fucking garbage and someone needs to bag you up and take you outside, throw you into the East River, and put everyone who can smell your fucking stench out of their goddamn misery.”

“Thank you for changing my life. Lives are hard to change.”

Alan: “You promise me I’ll be happy?”
Nadia: “No. But I can promise you you will never be alone.”

More Awesome Quotes from Russian Doll

Mike:  “She didn’t choose me, Alan. The only choice she made was not you. Nobody chooses me. I’m the hole where a choice should be.”

Ruth: “Nothing in this world is easy, except pissing in the shower.”

Rabbi: “Buildings aren’t haunted. People are.”

Maxine: “I don’t know what’s going on here, but either you guys suck each other’s dicks or get the fuck out of my apartment!”

Maxine: “Oh no, no. I love that you’re a cunt. It makes me feel morally superior.”

Maxine: “You can eat anything, take anything, do anything. It’s impossible to destroy you. You will never die.”