Best Bill and Ted Quotes (From All 3 Movies!)

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure is one of my favorite movies of all time. It’s one of the original time travel movies and it was also Keanu Reeves’ breakout role. I’ve put together all my favorite Bill & Ted quotes from all three movies.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Best Quotes from Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989)

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

Bill: “Be excellent to each other.”
Ted: “Party on, dudes!”

Ted: “Now your Dad’s going for it in your own room!”
Bill: “Shut up, Ted.”
Ted: “Your step mom is cute though.”
Bill: “Shut up Ted!”
Ted: “Remember when I asked her to the prom?”
Bill: “Shut UP Ted!”

Ted: “Strange things are afoot at the Circle K.”

Ted: “If you guys are really us, what number are we thinking of?”
Time-traveling Bill & Ted: “69, dudes!”

Bill: “The only true wisdom consists in knowing that you know nothing.”
Ted: “That’s us, dude!”

Ted, to Socrates: “All we are is dust in the wind, dude.”

Ted: “Oh, you beautiful babes From England, for whom we have traveled through time… Will you go to the prom with us in San Dimas? We will have a most triumphant time!”

Bill: “You killed Ted you medieval dickweed!”

Bill: “You ditched Napoleon!?”
Ted: “Deacon, do you realize you have just stranded one of Europe’s greatest leaders in San Dimas?”
Deacon: “He was a dick!”

Ted, introducing Genghis Khan: “This is a dude who, 700 years ago, totally ravaged China, and who, we were told, 2 hours ago, totally ravaged Oshman’s Sporting Goods.”

Bill: “Maybe it’s time we get Eddie Van Halen.”
Ted: “Maybe we should start learning how to play.”

Best Quotes from Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Bill: “I can’t believe we just melvined Death!”

Ted, talking about Hell: “This is not what I expected at all. We got totally lied to by our album covers!”

Death: “A hit. You have sank my battleship!”

Bill: “Best 5 out of 7?”
Death: “Damn right!”

Ted: “You are a most excellent scientist, Station.”
Bill: “Yeah! Plus, you’ve got an excellently huge Martian butt!”
Death: “Don’t overlook my butt, I work out all the time. And reaping burns a lot of calories.”

Best Quotes from Bill & Ted Face the Music (2020)

Bill & Ted Face the Music

Billie: “Uncle Bill, the throat singing, it was a whole new level of eloquence. Some serious buga khoomei.”

Ted: “Dude, we’ve spent our whole life trying to write the song that will unite the world. What makes us think we can write it in like, 75 minutes?”

Bill: “You have had many counter-intuitive ideas over the years, but this is by far the counter-intuitivest of them all, dude!”

Bill & Ted: “Sometimes things don’t make sense until the end of the story.”

Kid Cudi: “So this is some kind of error in our holographic dual field? Or is it a Wilsonian loop causing a temporal singularity?”
Thea: “Well, seems to me your classic tautological casual circuit.
Kid Cudi: “I don’t know. Seems like textbook entanglement to me.”
Billie: “I must say, your understanding of our dire circumstances is most impressive.”

Dennis: “Mistakes were made. Apologies are given.”
Ted: “You sent our daughters to Hell?!”

Death: “I am sorry that fame went to my head. It was intoxicating.”

Death: “You don’t just get to rock. You got to earn the right to rock.”

Kid Cudi: “Dudes, the booth is obviously a tunnel to the quantum realm!”

Billie & Thea: “It wasn’t so much the song that made the difference, it was everyone playing it together.”

For more on the new Bill & Ted movie, including recaps and filming locations, check out The New Bill & Ted Movie: Everything You Need to Know.

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